Getting Feedback from Your Peers

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Dearest All -- this is from the blog of Katerina Stoykova-Klemer called In My Own Accent. It's very good advice. Please read it.

Thank you for your attention,
WPF Administration

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"When you want to improve your writing, there are no substitutes for the big three: reading, writing and getting feedback.

Getting feedback from your mentors, well-published poets and people whose writing you admire is not only helpful, but also easy. You generally agree with it, especially if you are paying good money; you want to please the writing teacher, and, you are certain they have your best interest in mind.

It is a lot trickier and more emotional to get feedback from your peers, people who are at your level, or, as you like to think, below it. Who are these people, anyway? Who gives them the right to have opinions? And why are you even here?

You are here, at the writers’ workshop, or in your writing group, because deep down you know you need community to keep on writing, and because you need diverse feedback from writers who have not been overly socialized in polite workshops, where each work is praised at least ten times more than criticized.

You also realize that chances are, your peers will be the largest part of your readers. And, you want to know how your readers react to your work.

I personally think that going into the workshop, listening to the feedback and nodding your head at everything you hear is of utmost importance, a sort of a rite of passage. Not only as a stepping stone for improving your work, but also as part of your development as a mature human being.

I think you should go into the room carrying compassion in one hand and humility in the other.

You need compassion for yourself, your work, your workshop leader, even for all these people who don’t know what they are talking about.

Most of all, though, you need humility. Forgive me, but you are lost without it. If not now, then sooner than you think. In writing, and also in your day-to-day living. So, take every opportunity to cultivate humility – you will be glad you did.

I have included below a few signs that you are NOT approaching with humility the process of getting feedback from your peers. See if any of them apply to you.

You are not thankful for their time and opinions.
You feel too good to be critiqued.
You bring your work with the intention to have it praised and to show off what you can do.
You worry what others are thinking of you and your work.
You are offended at what your peers say.
You feel the need to defend yourself.
You are secretly competing with other writers in the room.
You want to be the smartest person in the room at all costs.
When you feel unappreciated, or not admired enough, you’ll want to leave and never come back. That’ll show them.
You have to prove that you are right. You are always right.
You feel critique as if it were a personal attack.
You are annoyed when someone else is getting attention or praise.
Crediting others for their contribution to your accomplishments makes you feel diminished.

Your host
Katerina Stoykova-Klemer"