| Author | Message | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1589 Registered: 11-2003 |
Tulum Erotic Figurine I bought you, unable to resist your wagging luster, the stars on your angel wings. The artist outside the ruins winked and turned you over, showed me the whip of devil that ran between muscled buttocks, ending in your pointy tail. I admired all your angles, your sweet dimpled cheeks. When I returned to the bus, tourists clutching last-minute treasures, I hid you in my oversized canvas tote, worried your halo might snap off going through customs. What to do with you when I got back to my old Life? How to explain to my husband the serene, satisfied look I wore, a woman who has finally found the perfect man. Not only your shapely thighs, the lovely arch, your tiny horns and large manly feet—all in clay, at least I know what I am in for this time. A handsome devil who took my breath, my last pesos away. I had to have you. | ||
| Jeffrey S. Lange
Member Username: runatyr Post Number: 85 Registered: 10-2005 |
Hi Laurie, I enjoyed this for the way it was written as a missive to the figurine as well as for both the play between good and evil and the play between stasis and motion. There's a delicate balance here, and it works. Maybe "passing through customs" instead? Also, I was curious about "Life" capitalized. It would make more sense to me if "Old Life" was capitalized, or if there were no capitalization at all. And on a final note, if you were really at the ruins, I'm terribly jealous. ;) Fine work. ~Jeff "I had a lover's quarrel with the world." ~Robert Frost | ||
| Lazarus
Advanced Member Username: lazarus Post Number: 1419 Registered: 10-2005 |
Laurie- I really like this. The way it follows the point all the way through. The dreamy womanish needs, and the devilish way they seem to be satisfied. The Age of Nations is past. The task before us now, if we would not perish, is to build the earth. - Teilhard de Chardin | ||
| Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan Post Number: 798 Registered: 08-2004 |
wonderful wonderful Laurie! I love this description you've captured. Beautifully fun poetry here. only one thought-- perhaps that last line is not needed. I love the line before as the final thought and feel I knew you had to have it way before you having to say. Regardless-- great stuff here. (((smile))) Karen | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 2958 Registered: 08-2003 |
Laurie, if he gets out of line, just grab him by the tail and.... In agreement with Karen on where to end. Wonder the material used, maybe add this? E | ||
| Christopher T George
Senior Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 4363 Registered: 12-2004 |
Hi Laurie Which dimpled cheeks?  A nice wry and erotic poem, a pleasure to read, as well. Chris (Message edited by Chrisgeorge on March 10, 2006) Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ Co-Editor, Loch Raven Review http://www.lochravenreview.net/ http://christophertgeorge.blogspot.com/ | ||
| Mudcat Miller
Member Username: mudcat Post Number: 87 Registered: 08-2005 |
Your icon transported me there. Must be magic in it, and the poem. | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1984 Registered: 11-2004 |
Ah, Laurie~ Delicious! Makes me want to go back to Mexico. Love the large manly feet and all the rest! take care~dale | ||
| ~M~
Board Administrator Username: mjm Post Number: 6876 Registered: 11-1998 |
Ah, even the perfect man has feet of clay. *grin* Very delightful poem, Laurie. Just a couple of suggestions -- no capitalization of life and here: "in for this time. A handsome devil who took my breath, my last pesos away." Don't think you need "away." | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1592 Registered: 11-2003 |
hi all Jeff Life caps was a mistake, and sorry,haha, but it didn't work for a reason. Passing through might work, might remind us of death though, and yes, tulum was just about no I lie Key West I felt that way as well suffocated by the heat and I used to ADORE the heat, the hotter the better, I love PSP when everyone says "but it's 103" I'm like "yes, isn't itwonderful" but it's a dry heat. Mexican heat is oppressive. Stagnant and by theruins especially and also those dreams in which you feel you are falling that is the mayan ruins exactly like that Laz, you are generous thanks haha emusing I emailed you and hoping you can post the picture, it's in clay, just like his feet. I usually LEAD him around by the tail or the ring in his um nose and chris thanks you are brave to break into all this male bashing dale, thanks yes, I often like large manly feet I actuallyknew a man with the most beautiful feet, naturally a Pisces and MJM yes, a mistake and prolly could eliminate the breath away got me there and this one was FUN for a change peace all laurie | ||
| Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan Post Number: 800 Registered: 08-2004 |
Well, you know what they say about a man with a big nose and big feet. (grin) He's a clown. (((smile))) Karen | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1986 Registered: 11-2004 |
They all are..  | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 7105 Registered: 07-2001 |
As good as anything you've written, at least since we were in the mountains together. Smiles. Gary A River Transformed The Dawg House Winter 2006 MindFire | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Senior Member Username: kathy Post Number: 3108 Registered: 12-2003 |
Laurie,a fun read.We all wish we had a man like that, one we could admire and just put in the closet when we didn't want him around any more. LOL! KWild Flowers | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1594 Registered: 11-2003 |
karen you crack me up send it the clowns dale you too and Gary i wish I could get back into the mountains, I'm longing to go there and may still and kathy absolutely this is why I love my new kitten, Caliban--he's the perfect "pet" which somehow brings me back to the man subject again.... haha oh a nasty bitch at work told me in front of a group of people "you HAVE to learn to cook, Laurie, at your age, really" and I said "but my husband cooks and any lover I had cooked for me, why should I take away their job security?" some people have no clue..... laurie | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1988 Registered: 11-2004 |
Laurie~ You might find this amusing...  | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 4197 Registered: 07-2002 |
Laurie--I love this poem! Start to finish--clever, subtly erotic and fun. And Dale!!! ROFLMAO!!!!! best, ljc Once in a Blue Muse Blog | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1604 Registered: 11-2003 |
dale now THAT is something I should buy in bulk for all my women friends and Lisa she tickles me, isn't she good? laurie |
