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Deborah P Kolodji
New member
Username: dkolodji

Post Number: 16
Registered: 04-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 10:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
At the End of the Road

Glimpses
of the cabin
surrounded by forest,
with its woebegone roof sagging
from years.

Neglect,
a tired garment
spruced up with wildflowers --
the call of a bird echoes in
stillness.

Flutter
of butterflies,
three new cans of paint --
smiles on a face which hasn't smiled
lately.

- Deborah P Kolodji
Dale McLain
Advanced Member
Username: sparklingseas

Post Number: 878
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 11:30 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
I love this Deborah. Sweet and hopeful.
take care~dale
M
Board Administrator
Username: mjm

Post Number: 3177
Registered: 11-1998
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 4:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
What a sweet end of the road you have portrayed, Deborah. Also loved the beginning and ending words of each verse -- glimpses, from years, neglect, stillness, flutter, lately. Almost a poem in themselves. Nice work!
Denis M. Garrison
Advanced Member
Username: denismgarrison

Post Number: 266
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 4:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
Debbie,

Fine sequence with strong imagery. Very nice indeed!

A ? - S3 L4 - hadn't?

bw,
Denis
www.dmgar.com
My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison
Kathy Paupore
Advanced Member
Username: kathy

Post Number: 2083
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 5:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
Deborah, enjoyed. Nicely done. You make it look deceptively easy to do a cinq. sequence.

:-) K
Michael MV
Senior Member
Username: michaelv

Post Number: 918
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 6:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
A poem of 3 cinquain stanzas. The 1st stanza is not as uniquely strong as are the 2nd & 3rd; these 2 I esp liked for the freshness.

Make the entire poem "three new cans of paint."

Best Regards

:-)

MV
 
 
LJ Cohen
Moderator
Username: ljc

Post Number: 2400
Registered: 07-2002
Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 7:33 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
Deborah,

The second, my favorite, though all together, ahhh. Lovely work.

ljc
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member
Username: garyb

Post Number: 4144
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 9:33 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
Debbie, I like the set a lot, but now that see the word without consideration it is WOTD, I wonder if it were replaced by something that says the roof was once well-crafted...

Thanks.

Gary
Drop in read the new MindFire, 2005's first Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
to get to the issue in a click or two.
E V Brooks
Advanced Member
Username: lia

Post Number: 1171
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Saturday, July 02, 2005 - 6:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)
Very nicely done Deborah. Love the second, but for me they are all well done and work well together as a whole piece.

lia