| Author | Message | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Valued Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 254 Registered: 01-2005 |
Sailor in the Rain At eight bells when, at last, my watch is done, my Captain, strew me leeward from the stern: a brief gray cloud to smudge that lightsome day. Then will I ride upon the surging waves, in rhythm with the pulse of Mother Sea. What currents will I plumb; what depths achieve. How lightly will I rise and lighter fall as rain upon the land, to spiral in blue boundless skies and fall on varied shores, to plummet weeping basalt cliffs and run in giggling rills, to trickle hills and pool in chasms labyrinthine. Oh, look for me, my Captain, in the shower and the gale, in mighty storms upon the sea, and on the glistening dewy decks of gentle dawns. Denis Garrison www.dmgar.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2052 Registered: 12-2003 |
Denis, enjoyed. Felt like I was being tossed around on a ship. One small sugggestion L4 reads a bit awkward, maybe change the wording or add a question mark at the end of L5. "Then will I....Sea?" Or "Then I will...Sea."  K | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Advanced Member Username: garyb Post Number: 4048 Registered: 07-2001 |
Then will I ride upon the surging waves, in rhythm with the pulse of Mother Sea. I would do these surging and if the count works Mother Sea's pulse An old-fashioned fell which is a good thing. Thanks. Gary Drop in read the new MindFire, 2005's first Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a click or two. | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Valued Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 255 Registered: 01-2005 |
Kathy and Gary, thanks for the read and for the suggestions. bw, Denis www.dmgar.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison | ||
| D.J. Clowes
Board Administrator Username: sis Post Number: 215 Registered: 11-1998 |
This carries the essence of the poets of yor, Denis. It is timeless and speaks to generations who live and work on the sea. Wonderful bit. I enjoyed. Sis | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Valued Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 256 Registered: 01-2005 |
Sis, Thank you for your kind words. I am very gratified that it pleased you. As an old sailor, this one is close to my heart. best wishes, Denis www.dmgar.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison | ||
| Laurie Byro
Intermediate Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1018 Registered: 11-2003 |
and on top of it all a sonnet which is the most difficult great work laurie | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Valued Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 261 Registered: 01-2005 |
Laurie, Thank you, but I can't take credit for a sonnet. This 15 lines of blank verse sure looks like one, though. Glad to have it taken for a sonnet. bw, Denis www.dmgar.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison |
