January 07, 2002 -- HM -- Oscuro Log Out | Topics | Search
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M
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Username: mjm

Post Number: 4616
Registered: 11-1998
Posted on Friday, July 22, 2005 - 10:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Honorable Mention
Life so Far
Caballo Oscuro

My first memory is of my grandfather dusting my legs
as I sat on his knee,
Setting me so that the sun did not make me squint and holding my hands
as he had great, important things to say.
He spoke to me in songs, of caravans and fantastic sunsets, a place where
home was the next good place for trade.

My father called for us all every time he came home, and we each received kisses
In order of our age before his palm caught my mother by surprise
as she drew the innards out of chickens
or took the skin off potatoes .
I remember her smile was the brightest in the world, remember her kissing him
with bloody hands held away and hair falling over her eyes.
I remember loving my world and the safeness of nights in my bed.

Grandfather died, and we all had to wear white shirts and black bows at our necks,
my sister became my shadow, my father inherited his spirit.
I wrote all the stories I could remember in dust, scrubbed them out with a stick
and recited them each night so that I would not forget.
Some years later my parents were waltzing in the garden, while my sister
plaited branches of jacaranda and became distant and beautiful,
saying strange things and spending too much time combing her hair.
I sometimes went to school, when there was enough to make a class,
mostly I stole tomatoes from the garden and went on adventures.

Aeroplanes came and took my brothers away to places I had seen on a map
and my mother cried each time she received a letter.
No one told stories anymore, father bought dresses from Las Palmas
and tortoiseshell combs for mother’s black hair.
I remember listening to them singing late into the evening.

My father died when I was away,
It was in the summer and I wondered who would take care of his fruit trees
and quarrelsome chickens, who my mother would give her smiles to now.
She began to take religion at its word, arrange flowers in church with aggressive hands,
Spoke of right and wrong love in a monotone, quoted verses with numbers attached.
Sometimes I take chances and show her the man that I have become,
sometimes I want her to remember her bloody hands and dances with the man
she ran away to be with.
Instead she spits words written too many years ago, prefers these commands to the
ones she felt her heart respond to as a young woman,
Love has become a bitter word and a bouquet once a year.

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