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LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc
Post Number: 11487 Registered: 07-2002
| Posted on Monday, October 05, 2009 - 10:41 am: |
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Wild is a large, diverse community, and as such, the potential for misunderstandings and personality conflicts are both inevitable. We have rules/guidelines/expectations to keep those issues to a minimum while allowing the members the freedom and safety they need to create art. Please remember there are real people at the receiving end of your posts. Those real people have real feelings and deserve your consideration, just as you deserve theirs. Our cardinal rule of commenting on the poem and not the poet needs to expand to all our posts, either directly poetry related or not. Please do NOT assume a post is an attack, even if (or especially if) you feel you have been singled out. In the vast majority of cases, it is simple misunderstanding and a simple clarification ("Can you tell me what you meant by. . . ) is all that's needed to repair the damage. If you have a strong emotional response to a post, please wait, at least a few minutes before you hit the 'post' button. Responding in the heat of the moment is almost always a poor decision and leads to further conflict. In the rare cases, where ad hom attacks have been documented, the moderators and administrators will step in to suspend memberships. We take the safety of this poetry community very seriously. I have said this many times, but it bears repeating: most of communication is conveyed by Non-Verbal cues--tone of voice, context, facial expressions, body language--and NOT in the words themselves. Wild gives you one tool to use to convey meaning: words alone. Please be careful with them. Your concerned head moderator, ljc Once in a Blue Muse Blog "Chop Wood, Carry Water"
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Fred Longworth
Senior Member Username: sandiegopoet
Post Number: 6860 Registered: 05-2006
| Posted on Monday, October 05, 2009 - 11:40 am: |
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I sure don't want to be a -- What I don't want to be ********** (Message edited by sandiegopoet on October 05, 2009) Welcome to the Wobegon Poets Forum, where all poems are above average.
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M
Board Administrator Username: mjm
Post Number: 35472 Registered: 11-1998
| Posted on Monday, October 05, 2009 - 2:00 pm: |
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Thank you, dearest Lisa, for this level-headed and objective reminder to be level-headed and objective. I couldn't have said it any better if I sat here for a hundred years (and it's feeling like I've sat here a hundred years just from all the separate incidents this morning alone). What Wild is trying to do, and has tried to do for the past nearly 11 years, is to assemble a very broad number and variety of people. Peaceably. And I'd like to remind everyone that what we are trying to do is very nearly impossible. Live poetry critique groups don't contain hundreds of members. At most, you'll get about a dozen (most times, many less than that) of like-minded people who are willing and able to critique each other's work without killing each other. To put together as many people as we have in a crit group, from so many different backgrounds, ages, cultures, experiences, perspectives, and ways of working? Well, that doesn't even exist in the real world. That's how unlikely it is. But we won't let the fact that peaceably working toward a common goal (writing and critiquing poetry) is impossible or unlikely stop us. We do, however, need YOUR cooperation. So, please help us. We can't do it alone. Keep eyes and minds on the poetry, above all. That is, in fact, really why we're all here. And cut each other a break, every now and then. Don't assume the worst (even if it seems that person deserves it). If you don't, then we'll just turn into some horrible Thanksgiving Day family reunion dinner where everyone hates everyone else and everyone can't wait to go home. Bad soap opera material, where everyone at the table ends up throwing their dessert at someone else. We'd like to eat the pumpkin pie. Not wear it. Thank you (from the bottom of a very sore butt that hasn't left this chair for going on almost 7 hours straight -- time I could have spent critiquing poems, but which is sadly lost now). Love, M |
Fred Longworth
Senior Member Username: sandiegopoet
Post Number: 6863 Registered: 05-2006
| Posted on Monday, October 05, 2009 - 11:19 pm: |
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***** (Message edited by sandiegopoet on October 05, 2009) Welcome to the Wobegon Poets Forum, where all poems are above average.
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Ron. Lavalette
Advanced Member Username: dellfarmer
Post Number: 1988 Registered: 05-2007
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 3:28 am: |
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My voice has no tone. And I resent your implication that it does. Don't make me come over there and show you my facial expression too. Why, I oughtta...... --Ron. Eggs Over Tokyo
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LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc
Post Number: 11489 Registered: 07-2002
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 6:12 am: |
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Sigh. At least I can count on you two jokers to keep me amused.
Once in a Blue Muse Blog "Chop Wood, Carry Water"
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Anna Brown
Intermediate Member Username: tissuetoyou
Post Number: 705 Registered: 11-2007
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 9:57 am: |
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I can keep you amused, Lisa!! What did one snowman say to the other snowman? "Smells like carrots!!" That is GOLDEN, right there. _________________________________________________ If you're not a good person, try to be one; if you are a good person, try to be a better one. No one is perfect, but we choose how close to it we will be.
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Tina Hoffman
Senior Member Username: tina_hoffman
Post Number: 4251 Registered: 05-2007
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 11:52 am: |
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No comment . "It is not the healthy people who need a doctor, but the sick..." ~Matthew
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Gary Blankenship
Moderator Username: garydawg
Post Number: 29529 Registered: 07-2001
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 3:43 pm: |
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A hamster walked into a microwave. . . . . . . . . . . . . . The gerbil swerved. Smiles. Gary Celebrate Walt with Gary: http://www.poetrykit.org/pkl/tw10/tw4conte.htm
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Jeffrey S. Lange
Advanced Member Username: runatyr
Post Number: 1301 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 9:22 pm: |
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Hi all, I don't know what prompted this recently as I've not really been around, but I know I took time away from this site after feeling that a reviewer's tone was inappropriate. After it was sorted out, I could see that I might have misinterpreted the tone. But I still did not feel much like posting, and have only posted a few things since. Partly because of the way the administration handled it. I made a sarcastic remark (a "thanks" where I was not particularly thankful) and was told that none of my work would be reviewed again by the administrator. Too risky... I might blow up and say "thanks" without meaning it, I guess. I thanked said administrator for her input on many, many poems over and over again over the years as I dropped on and off the boards. I enjoyed and critiqued many poems on this site. And I thought there was even something not entirely unlike friendship between me and few of the members here, and certainly including said administrator. And I make a single, idle comment and find myself an untouchable. Not pleasant. Just sayin'. I have yet to find a place to post my work online that I like so well as this place. So I think it's a rather sad situation. And I make this post to point out that the administration needs to heed its own advice. |
M
Board Administrator Username: mjm
Post Number: 35477 Registered: 11-1998
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 9:40 pm: |
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Dear Jeffrey -- I will repeat what I said to you then. I merely said that if my commentary upset you, I would refrain from offering any suggestions. I did not say that I would not read your work, respond to your work, or treat you as "untouchable." C'mon -- get real. I'm not that easily upset, but I certainly don't want to continue to upset someone else when I have. And I believe I apologized for all that. But I'll say it again -- I'm sorry that I upset you. BTW -- my name is not administrator. It's M. I thought we knew each well enough to address each other on a first name basis ( well, with me, it's really only on a initial basis *LOL* ). How 'bout just relaxing and letting by-gones be by-gones? I'm sitting on top of a very nuclear-reactive gallstone/gallbladder right now and don't have the time or the energy to continue bad feelings. Oh, and I ain't the only one or even the most important one around here. You should feel free to enjoy Wild regardless of any negative feelings you might have for or about me. I certainly don't harbor any resentments against you. I'm way too old for crap like that. So, we okay now? Or do I have to crawl on my knees? I'm down here on my knees anyway with the gallbladder pain, so it's no problem if I do. Love, M |
Jeffrey S. Lange
Advanced Member Username: runatyr
Post Number: 1302 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - 11:10 pm: |
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Hi M -- thank you for responding. Well, even if it was obvious who I was referring to, I thought maybe it was better post etiquette not to use a name... err, initial. Sorry to hear about the gallbladder problems. I hope that's taken care of quickly and with a minimum of pain. Anyway, I do like suggestions. And... statistical data would bear that out, I bet. Still, I was somehow imagining you were not going to read or respond. Erroneously, and I'm glad of that. I do sort of take things to heart. And I take them personally sometimes when I ought not to. But I really like honest critique of my work, and I think most people who have critiqued my work could attest to that. And I guess I'll stop dwelling on all that. I enjoy talking with many poets here and reading their works, to be sure. But you're M. I couldn't enjoy myself here thinking I had become a pariah to you... even if I was thinking something that wasn't exactly reality. I have probably given over far too much time thinking about all this. But, you know, it matters to me. Because I like this site. And you. And your opinion matters to me. No knees, please! I feel like a spoiled child as it is anyway, sulking and vying for your attention. I'm perfectly happy with "just relaxing and letting by-gones be by-gones" (Message edited by Runatyr on October 06, 2009) |
M
Board Administrator Username: mjm
Post Number: 35479 Registered: 11-1998
| Posted on Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 10:21 am: |
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Thanks, Jeffrey. I'm glad it's all okay now. And I understand being sensitive. I respect that. I have the hide of a rhino, but that doesn't mean everyone else does or should. Again, I'm very sorry for the misunderstandings. Oh, and nobody believes me about this, but I actually do have great affection ( I would say "love," but that makes Freddie nervous *LOL* ) for every monkey on this site. Even the ones who get a little rambunctious from time to time. I don't know -- it must be some flaw in my composition. I really don't have the resentment gene. Even with people who do things I don't like very much. Oh, I'll complain about them. But I always end up saying, "Ahhh, he's really not so bad," and wishing I could hug him. *LOL* When Wild was smaller, I used to have the time and capacity to get to know almost everyone personally. I wish I could still do that, but I'm glad Wild has grown beyond that capacity. For future reference, just know that even if we get into disagreements (which are often inevitable), it doesn't mean I won't continue to respect and care for you. This place and all these people are in my heart and soul. I will always want what's best for Wild, you, and them. Love, M |
Fred Longworth
Senior Member Username: sandiegopoet
Post Number: 6871 Registered: 05-2006
| Posted on Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 10:26 am: |
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Welcome to the Wobegon Poets Forum, where all poems are above average.
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