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Arthur Seeley
Valued Member
Username: amergin

Post Number: 150
Registered: 12-2008
Posted on Friday, February 06, 2009 - 5:35 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued."
— Robert Frost
Ignoring syllabification and rhyme I always thought this poem by Robert Frost met many of the aesthetic qualities of the haiku. Do you agree? How would you rewrite it to be closer to the haiku form?
Kathy Paupore
Moderator
Username: kathy

Post Number: 10907
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Friday, February 06, 2009 - 11:48 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Arthur, an interesting question. I think many poets were/are influenced by haiku. Some whether they know it or not. Some maybe inspired by another poet who was influenced by haiku.

Another thought I have is that any poet who writes about nature may inadvertently have a haiku feeling to their poetry. The seasons, the observations, the aha moments.

As a ku I might:

a crow shook
snowdust from a hemlock
on my head

and the second stanza I would leave off, as for me it explains too much the subtle aha of the haiku

and this is not to crit Robert Frost as he's one of my favorite poets

Kathy
You're invited to:

Wild Flowers

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat.~Robert Frost

Gary Blankenship
Moderator
Username: garydawg

Post Number: 27247
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Friday, February 06, 2009 - 6:33 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I agree with Kathy on the hiaku that could come out of this. With a bit of work, the second S might be used to turn the poem into a tanka.

The collection the poem was in was published in 1923, so it is possible Frost knew of haiku, called hooku then. But I thought I read somewhere that he dismissed the form. Couldn't find a quote though.

Smiles.

Gary
Celebrate Walt with Gary:
http://www.poetrykit.org/pkl/tw10/tw4conte.htm


Deborah P Kolodji
Advanced Member
Username: dkolodji

Post Number: 1238
Registered: 04-2005
Posted on Friday, February 06, 2009 - 9:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

My suggestion as a haiku...

a crow
shakes in the hemlock
my snow dusted hair

But I also liked Kathy's version.

As a tanka?

Maybe....

a dusting of snow
from the hemlock
crow...
my heart changes
to love this day

or something like that.
MV
Senior Member
Username: michaelv

Post Number: 1088
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2009 - 7:59 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Perhaps the commonality that you perceive is the Imagistic aesthetic.

:-)

Michael (MV)

 
 
Dan Tompsett
Intermediate Member
Username: db_tompsett

Post Number: 319
Registered: 07-2007
Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2009 - 9:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

The last line of Frost's poem sounds very forced to me. I like a couple of things Frost wrote, but I'm not much of a fan.
"People who believe a lot of crap are better off." Charles Bukowski